"Until Death Parts Us"

They had met a few years ago and he had almost instantly captured her imagination. Within a few weeks he had invaded her dreams and a few months after that had taken up permanent residence in her heart.

She loved him in a way she had never dreamed possible. She loved everything about him, from his integrity and honour to the glint in his eye when he was being mischievous to the freckles on his arms.

There was a part of her that had thought this day would never arrive – the wedding day. It dawned brilliantly sunny with a clear blue sky; a good omen with which to start a marriage.

She had only her best friend with her to help her dress and do her makeup. She looked beautiful when they were finished, which was as it should be on this important day.

The ceremony was beautiful and everything she had ever dreamed it would be. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t spoil it, and she kept that promise, even when he promised his new bride to love her “until death parts us” and slipped the ring on her finger.

Did you know you can hear a heart break? She heard it, a distinct snap as she looked at her bare hands in her lap and then back at the joyful couple sharing their first kiss as husband and wife.

At the reception she kept a low profile, knowing family and friends would continually surround him and feeling like she didn’t belong. He had kept half an eye on her during the dinner, relieved to see her smiling and talking with her table partners, not realizing how deeply she had dug to find the strength to act happy. He became concerned when the dancing had started an hour ago and she wasn’t to be seen.

He caught up with her outside having a moment to herself. He said her name and she looked at him, one moment of anguish and heart wrenching pain before the shutters came down and left her eyes as blue and innocent as the sky had been earlier. She had admitted once that he was her conscience and kept her from lying to herself and he wondered, not for the first time, how it would feel to have someone that close to you and not be that close to them in return.

“How’re you doing?” he asked softly. She shrugged and laughed faintly.

“Fine. It was a wonderful ceremony-”

“I know how wonderful it was; I was there! I’m asking about you!” He didn’t like the wall she was building, the wall that had started growing from the second he said, “I do.”

She turned and looked him full in the face, letting him see the honesty and sincerity there. “If I had lived a thousand years I could never have found a better person to give my heart to. Not only did you never let it adversely affect our friendship but you allowed me the freedom to love you. You didn’t make me shut it up in a box and hide it away from you. You weren’t ashamed that I feel this way and you didn’t make me feel ashamed either. But today, you married the woman of your dreams. Today my dream…” She paused. “Today my dream shattered.”

He held out his hand in silence and she took it, not resisting as he pulled her back inside and onto the dance floor. She had vowed not to ask him for anything this day, to show support simply by her presence, but she couldn’t pretend that the feel of his arms around her didn’t cause the two halves of her heart to tremble. She didn’t speak until the song was almost over, resting her head against his shoulder and breathed in his cologne, letting her imagination go just this one last time.

“I told you once that it was a gift; that you take it with you wherever you go, and that doesn’t change because of today.” She stepped back, and her hands started to shake, caught in his grasp between their bodies. Her eyes filled with tears for the first time that day and as hard as she blinked them away, one rolled down her cheek. It was the first time she had cried in front of him.

“I’m so glad you found her,” she whispered. He leaned forward, caught in a moment with her that excluded everyone else, his family, all his friends, even his bride. He had known of her love for as long as she had, and had never pushed her away or made her life difficult because of it. He knew that she needed to say her piece and he selflessly gave her this moment, as he had done countless times in the past.

“I hope… I hope every day brings you as much happiness and love as you experienced today. I hope that your lives together are full of laughter and joy. I hope that every morning you wake up and thank god that this woman is yours forever. I hope-” She stopped, the lump in her throat keeping her from speaking.

He pulled her close again and wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I know,” he said simply. She clung for a moment, an endless moment where she dreamed that he had never met his wife, and they had not traveled the road that led to this place and this day, but then pushed away. This was not the time or the place to allow for weakness. This was his wedding day and she refused to bring him down.

“I love you,” she said, the first time she had ever said the words out loud to him, and then she turned and walked away. Forever after she thought she heard him whisper after her, “I love you too,” but she didn’t stop or turn around. It could have been her imagination and besides, she thought, some things are better left unknown.