Okay, this is not nice of me. But dammit, I almost burst out laughing when it happened last night.

I have been asking T to read a book called "Crucial Conversations" which is the best self help book ever written. I have learned so much about how to communicate through reading this book and I want everyone in my life to read it too so that all our communication can be improved. Anyway, so T has had it at his house for a week or two and it has been sitting on the dining room table ever since, so I took it back last night. I offered it to Lisa to read and her exact words were: "No, my communication is fine." Yeah. If telling people that they are stupid when they get anything wrong, no matter how small, and getting so defensive when you are in the wrong that you yell at everyone else and alienate the people in your life, then yes, your communication is great.

Please!

But I let it go. All I said was, "That's what I thought, until I read this book." And I left it at that.

However, even though T refuses to read the book and still evinces huge issues with "talking about his feelings" I have convinced him to talk to me if things piss him off. When he realized that it was really okay with me to use phrases like "pissed off" or "fucking angry" he apprehensively said okay. After all, he's used to being yelled at when he tries to express himself. I have at least a year, if not longer, of bad conditioning to undo but I am convinced that if I am patient, and he doesn't live with Lisa for too much longer, that I will succeed and at least get him to the point where we can have conversations about what is going on betweeen us.

On a completely different topic, we are going to a play party on Saturday and I think that I am going to surprise him and wear the green apron that he asked for me to wear sometime for him. I might feel a little silly wearing such an item at a public event but I want him to know that I will bend myself over backwards to fulfill his fantasies, especially since he is said okay for me to bring my flogger. Yay!