"I don't know that I can put it into words, the characteristics that my Sensei has that I want a Dom to have. Maybe it's more of a feeling, or an evocation. Maybe I'll just know it when I come across it. I have known one other person who commanded my obedience in the same way although we were not romantic and he is certainly not into D/s. He is just naturally the way he is and it evoked something in me that didn't allow me to be any different when I was around him. Maybe that is what I need to try to find. Maybe it's not so much about having compatible kinks or limits but finding the person that I fit with.

This from the girl who a few days ago decided that love doesn't exist for her. But that is another entry on another day, because I gotta go to bed. "

This from an entry written back in March, before I met T.

It's interesting. I may have met the person with whom I fit. We met at a party and spent the whole time talking. He invited me back to his house afterwards, cooked me gnocchi, and then we had the best sex of my entire life. I had bite marks on my neck and one on my thigh that didn't fade for a week. Yum.

His work schedule and my exam schedule have meant that we haven't seen each other since, although we've talked on the phone a bunch and emailed. Hopefully I will be seeing him this weekend.

I woke up on the Sunday, in his bed, and thought to myself that this is the man that I am going to marry. And I have never had that thought about anyone before.

But once again, I need to go to bed, so this entry will have to be cut short.

Can you keep your fingers crossed for me that there will be little or no "closet asshole" in this one? I want to feel optimistic about love, even if it's just for a little while.