Fantasies

I have always been turned on by humiliation. I can remember masturbating when I didn't even know about sex yet, and I would get myself off thinking about humiliating or embarrassing situations. And interestingly enough, my fantasies never have me as the starring role. I might inhabit someone else's body for the duration, kind of like a dream where it isn't you but you are inside the person's mind, but it is never me, the person I am inside my own mind.

Which is good, because the stuff that I get myself off to is some crazy shit. Completely non-consensual, usually man on man because gay porn is hawt, or mind control stuff where the person can't help themself. Or just abject humiliation for the bottom. And most of the time, the male is the bottom, even though in "real life" I have no desire at all to top a male. I am just starting to entertain the idea of topping a woman but I don't like seeing submissive men. It makes me feel kind of weird - maybe that's how other people feel when they witness any kind of BDSM act? I dunno. I would never say that out loud because it makes me seem intolerant which I don't think I am - I'm all about do whatever makes you feel good. It's just not something that I want to get involved with, I guess.

I want it to be Saturday because I want to be getting hit with my flogger. I just wish that I didn't have to be hung from the roof first, but it's all about compromise. First T can suspend me and hit me with his canes (I'm assuming, anyway) and then he will finish it off with the flogger. Or I suppose if Lisa comes that she could always flog me afterwards. We did have an amazing scene in the dungeon at a party where she flogged me (her first time ever with a flogger) and then spanked me. My only complaint was that it could have been harder but that was because she warmed me up so well. But then it's not really a surprise that she would know how I like to be spanked, considering that she dated J for a year, a while before he ever met me and delivered my first spanking.

I want it to be Saturday, right now. Damn powers don't seem to be working. *sigh*