Too little, too late?

On Sunday, I had invited S to go to an opera that UBC is putting on this weekend, and he said he wasn't sure about his work schedule but he would call me. I thought, "Yeah right!"

But then yesterday, he called me around 1:30 while he was at work, and left me a message saying that he's been working all this week and will be working this weekend, and thanks very much for the invitation but he wasn't going to be able to make it. I called him on my break at school to say thanks for letting me know, but it was a very short conversation because he was at work and he had to go. He did answer the phone though ...

So you'd think that I would have been excited by this, because he followed through and called, but beyond a slight surprise when I looked at my call display, I didn't get that feeling of excitement. I think because we are barely hanging out, I have just let go of any feelings regarding the whole enterprise. Yeah, the sex is still the best I've ever had. But I want a relationship with him, and if that's not on the table, I guess I subconsciously decided to back way up and take my emotions out of it.

That's not to say that I'm not still going to call him and try to make plans to hang out. It just means that there is no longer any counting of the days between phone calls because if it goes four or five days without any contact - well, what did I expect?