New plan still working out well. No stress. No wondering what the fuck. I'm sleeping!!

I sent him an email today, just saying that I was thinking about him and hoping he was feeling better.

I have plans for tomorrow night, and Saturday night, and Sunday during the day, and most likely Sunday night as well, so even if I were to hear from him, I wouldn't be able to hang out. Thank goodness for school starting up and life getting busy again.

Still, it would be nice to have sex again soon. It's been two weeks, and that is one and a half weeks too long, in my humble opinion.

But I think I may possibly have learned patience, somewhere along the line.

And best of all, I talked to R tonight on the phone and told him the new plan and how I felt about everything and his words: "You're gonna be all right, kiddo." That is such a long way from how I was when we met and I was fucked up and a total basketcase. In fact, he often wondered to me how I managed to get along because I was so incredibly stupid. *lol* Sounds really harsh but actually wasn't. Besides, when I look back, 'they call that retrospect', I was stupid. I really have come a long way in my personal growth, and I can attribute a lot of that to R's teachings. I don't remember if I wrote this in an earlier entry, but R said to me the other night, "If S and I ever meet, he should thank you." And honestly, it's true. I am going to be able to deal with this 'relationship' or whatever it is solely because of my ability to look at my experiences and my emotions in the way that R taught me.

I don't think that S and R will ever meet. I wouldn't really want them to. R is like my dirty little secret (and I'm his) that no one knows about, so it's not like I would plan for them to meet. But on my own behalf, R, I say thank you for taking the time to sort out a stupid, over-emotional idiot and teaching her how to be a rational adult in relationships. It still takes me awhile to get there (as evidenced by the past two months of entries here) but I get there eventually. And two months is a hell of a lot better than two years. *grin*